It's been a year and six months... why can't I let go?

My boyfriend and I broke up when I left for college. We attempted the long distance thing, but the relationship caved underneath the stress of trying to keep the bond when your 400 miles apart. I'm tired of hearing give it time, things will get better. I've got plenty to handle, to distract me from thoughts of him. I go out, I concentrate on my studies, I participate in clubs, and activities with friends. But it's only a temporary solution. 18 months is ample time for something like this to heal... and things may have gotten a little better, but the pain still lurks in the shadows. I've accepted that it's over, that we can never again be, and that its actually for the best. But I still have feelings of love... and some of hate. I hate him b/c I can't forget him, like he's forgotten me. Not a day goes by that he still doesnt cross my mind. Why is it that he so easily has moved on, but yet I'm stuck? How do I finally release this love thats long gone? How do I let go of my first love?

It's been a year and six months... why can't I let go?
Do you have any items that remind you of him? Put them away and in a box, and keep them as far out of reach as possible.


Do you still talk to him? It's much easier if you don't.





It sounds like you're still in love with him, even if you don't want to be. You can do the things above, and more. Seperate him from your life. If you don't see him or his things, it's less likely that you'll think about him, and the bond will wear down faster.





Another thing you can do is take a peice of paper and write down all of the things you liked about the relationship on one side, and on the other, all the things you didn't like. Everything about that relationship on this one peice of paper. Then, rip it up into little peices and throw them in the trash (or recycle bin). Think about the good times and the bad times while you get rid of the peice of paper. As soon as every peice of this paper is gone from you and your hands, think, "it's not going to bother me anymore". "I am perfectly fine without him -- it was good while it could be good, and I will take the good times and make them better for my next love" You don't have to say that exactilly, but something along those lines. It's more psychological than anything, but it might help you move on.





Hope all of that helped. (:
Reply:you will never completely get over your first love. he will always be in the back of your head and you will compare other men to him. he changed your life he had an impact. and thats ok. one day you will find the right person for you and you will be able to look back on your past fondly and remember that he helped make you who you are he helped you get ready for your real true love
Reply:When you find out tell me..........
Reply:There isn't a lot more you can do except what you're doing...I know you hate hearing this but only time can heal these wounds so keep doing things to get your mind off him and soon enough one day he'll just be gone from your mind
Reply:I am really sorry to say this, but I don't think that you ever really totally get over your first love. It fades a bit, and then some more...you move on...but he is the one that started the ball rolling, the one who got in before you knew to defend your heart. He will always pop into your thoughts from time to time, even when you truly have moved on and love someone else.





I don't know if this holds true for men and their first loves, but most women seem to have this problem. Can't be helped. But time does help and you will love other people. Just differently. Which is a good thing. And he will just be a fond memory
Reply:Time...
Reply:it doesn't matter if it's ten years, if you choose not to let go, you won't. you say that you've let go, but deep inside you still haven't decided that. you try to convince yourself, but you know you're fooling yourself. YOU HAVE TO DECIDE TO LET GO. if you're somehow hoping things will go back to before, you're not helping yourself.
Reply:Its about time yes. But not for you to time it. Depending on how much u were attached to the person it would definetely take time for u to be over it. Realise also that u will always know u loved him deeply even if u are no longer in love with him. That particular attachment cannot just be ripped off and uve got to face it.


With time everything will be fine. I know u hate that by now but no way out.





It will be okay. Keep on focusing on other things other than him. Because otherwise u will remain stuck. He has moved on probably because he is not thinking of what u are thinking of him but u keep him in your mind by wondering how has he managed/ didnt he love me the same way? is he happy where he is? I hate him or love him? THAT WAY YOUR FOCUS IS STILL ON HIM.


ONLY DIFFERENTLY.


U are the only one who can make that change








All the best
Reply:You need to move on before you can 4get, him trust me the same thing happened to me, the reason you still have feelings for him is because you guys could have been together if you lived closer. Simple as that you mind plays tricks and says what if
Reply:Why do think he's just moved on and never thinks about you?? The reason you can't let go is bc like you said you still have anger toward him. You have to let that go and see that everything happens for a reason. You said it was for the best so you must see that. Something I think your missing is that you can't cover something up forever and not deal with it. You say that you do this and that but have you ever just sat down and dealt with it? Your life doesn't sound that bad. You will have to deal with the past before you even begin to look at the future. Just take it one step at a time. Find a friend who understands and will be there.
Reply:ive been through this. the thing is people try to stop loving so it hurts.once you open your heart to another there is no going back. try accepting the new distance and keep on loving them.


it only appears easy for him,let me tell you; as a guy, it usually takes men longer than even they know to get over a relationship.


we are masters of the mask! hope this finds you well!!